"A fountainhead from within you, moving out"
Photo by Autumn Kuney on Unsplash
Greetings -
I hope you, your family and friends are enjoying the early days of Fall!
We recently returned from family weekend at our daughter's college. What a treat to be able to spend a few days in the confines of a beautiful campus with a flourishing young woman. Her transition continues apace and she is thoroughly enjoying herself, friends and studies. We continue to be impressed with her grace, gravitas and capacity for change. Her spirit is infectious and her presence was a very missed treat.
The themes of self-awareness, empathy, active listening, and effective communication, with a focus on thoughtful feedback practices, have been paramount in my recent conversations with clients and colleagues. Diverse in content and sourcing, this edition provides an array of perspectives and insights. I hope you find applicability and benefit.
As always, happy reading and listening!
Be well, take good care of your families and community.
-kj
PS - (Missed a newsletter? Past editions can be found here: https://www.kevinjordan.coach/blog. And if you hit paywall on an article(s), feel free to send me a note and let me know what you need. I have subscriptions to many of the sources that I cite.)
Spotlight Articles
Feedback can be a gift; when done with intentionality, specificity and respect, we are afforded an opportunity. That opportunity can come in many forms, including the potential to enhance our strengths, mitigate our blind spots and/or gain deeper insight into how we might be more effective in our work and our relationships.
Effectively designing and navigating thoughtful, tailored and timely feedback conversations in our modern workforce is both challenging and necessary. Erin Meyer, in her recent Harvard Business Review Article "When Diversity Meets Feedback," argues that a focus on the "three A's" can help significantly "to promote candor across cultural, gender and generational divides." By ensuring that our counsel is "intended to assist, actionable and [most importantly in my HPOV] asked for," we provide the framework and environment for our people to bring their best selves to their professional calling. [An excellent, companion read, "The Simple Power of Communicating With Kindness," looks at opportunities and methods to practice "gracious communication...[that is], to be outward focused — on the other person, not yourself."]
Articles
CNBC: Harvard-trained neuroscientist: The ‘most underrated’ skill successful people use at work—and how to develop it. "Being self-aware means reflecting on your strengths and mapping them to your goals too, she adds. Research suggests that developing self-awareness helps us be more creative, make sounder decisions, communicate better and build stronger relationships."
The Wall Street Journal: Bosses Say ‘Feedback’ Is Too Scary for Some Workers, So They Use This Word Instead. "More companies are ditching anxiety-inducing corporate lingo for what they see as gentler terms."
Psychology Today: Certainty Is a Psychological Trap and It's Time to Escape. "The willingness to actually listen to others and to display your ignorance in a world full of know-it-alls is a bold move that now has a name—intellectual humility. It’s not only a developable skill, but it could just end the culture wars."
Harvard Business Review: Talking About a Difficult Decision — When You Can’t Share All the Details. "Making important strategic and organizational decisions comes with responsibility to the people they affect. There may be moments when you can’t share every detail — but you can be transparent about the situation you face, the options you’re considering, and your commitment to humanity, honesty, and integrity."
Harvard Business Review: You Need to Practice Being Your Future Self. "...You need to spend time on the future even when there are more important things to do in the present and even when there is no immediately apparent return to your efforts...If you want to be productive, you need to spend time doing things that feel ridiculously unproductive."
Books
Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up, by Patricia Ryan Madson. "In an irresistible invitation to lighten up, look around, and live an unscripted life, a master of the art of improvisation explains how...to apply the maxims of improvisational theater to real-life challenges—whether it’s dealing with a demanding boss, a tired child, or one of life’s never-ending surprises." [A shout-out to my wife's mother for this gem of a book!]
Night, by Elie Wiesel, Marion Wiesel (Translator). "Night is the terrifying record of Elie Wiesel's memories of the death of his family, the death of his own innocence, and his despair as a deeply observant Jew confronting the absolute evil of man. This new translation by his wife and most frequent translator, Marion Wiesel, corrects important details and presents the most accurate rendering in English of Elie Wiesel's testimony to what happened in the camps and of his unforgettable message that this horror must simply never be allowed to happen again."
Blog Posts & Opinions
Joan Garry: Why Empathy is the Key to Outstanding Leadership in Nonprofit Organizations. "Empathy is contagious and influences and shapes a work culture of caring. As leaders, we have a responsibility to model this behavior, demonstrating an authentic interest in our people as humans." [Though Joan's piece is intended for non-profit executives, the principles and practices she and Beth Kanter espouse are applicable to and can be learned by all leaders.]
David Burkus: The Skill of Active Listening. "Practicing and improving these four skills - Receive, Appreciate, Summarize, Ask (aka RASA) - will improve your active listening...And as team members emulate the example and improve their own skills, that fosters an environment of trust and respect during discussions."
The New Yorker: A Lesson for the Sub. "How my soul-mending sojourn as a substitute teacher was interrupted by two life-changing events."
Podcasts
Brené Brown: Empathy vs Sympathy. "In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities."
McKinsey & Company: Inside the Strategy Room: Leading with authenticity. "Bill George...shares his insights on authentic leadership, with a focus on emerging leaders."
Arts, Music, Culture & Humor Corner
The Los Angeles Times: The untold story of California’s most iconic outdoor bookshop. "For decades, the unique charms of Bart’s Books have beckoned literature lovers from far and wide to the quiet corner of Matilija and Canada streets in Ojai."
The New Yorker: The Secret Sound of Stax. "The rediscovery of demos performed by the songwriters of the legendary Memphis recording studio reveals a hidden history of soul."
The Washington Post: Bitter rivals. Beloved friends. Survivors. "After 50 years, Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova understand each other like no one else can. When cancer came, they knew where to turn." [This well-written piece transcends tennis (though there is great tennis history in the narrative). It is a testament to friendship, courage, resilience and the power of seeing/hearing and being seen/heard.]
McSweeney's: I Regret To Announce That I Will Not Be Canceling My Plans With You Tonight. "I will not take your presence for granted, and I thank you for your cooperation. You have my word that at the conclusion of our dinner, we can half-heartedly agree that 't was fun,' that we’ll 'do it again sometime,' and then take ages to follow up. For after tonight, we can rejoice in another glorious cycle of cancellations."
Reflections
"To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go."
- Mary Oliver
Two Kinds of Intelligence
There are two kinds of intelligence: one acquired,
as a child in school memorizes facts and concepts
from books and from what the teacher says,
collecting information from the traditional sciences
as well as from the new sciences.
With such intelligence you rise in the world.
You get ranked ahead or behind others
in regard to your competence in retaining
information. You stroll with this intelligence
in and out of fields of knowledge, getting always more
marks on your preserving tablets.
There is another kind of tablet, one
already completed and preserved inside you.
A spring overflowing its springbox. A freshness
in the center of the chest. This other intelligence
does not turn yellow or stagnate. It’s fluid,
and it doesn’t move from outside to inside
through conduits of plumbing-learning.
This second knowing is a fountainhead
from within you, moving out.
- Rumi