Kevin Jordan | Coach

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“Inseparable from right speech is good listening.” ~ Mudita Nisker

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

Greetings -
I hope you, your families and friends are well!
Leaders have the opportunity and the obligation to foster an environment of personal development and growth. Effectively doing this requires, in part, cultivating a depth of expertise in listening, questioning and storytelling skills. Leaders who role-model these skills foster the conditions to achieve individual and team excellence. They provide the support necessary for us to flourish, while creating sustainable cultures that value our gifts and inspire us to bring the very best of ourselves every day.

The reading and listening in this edition explores the generous gift of active listening, the power of thoughtful and perspective-shifting questioning, and the magic of artfully crafted, compelling stories. Enjoy the range of perspectives!

As always, happy reading and listening!
Be well, take good care of your families and community.
-kj

PS - (Missed a newsletter? Past editions can be found here: https://www.kevinjordan.coach/blog. And if you hit paywall on an article(s), feel free to send me a note and let me know what you need. I have subscriptions to many of the sources that I cite.)

Featured Books: 

It's Showtime! Richard Butterfield's Power of Persuasion is [an] "...indispensable guide [that] combines Richard's dual experience as an actor and as the man behind the curtain for high-profile leaders across the globe. His tactics for the spoken word apply to every facet of the organization, from the ultra-concise elevator speech to the magnificent keynote address." My Kaiser Permanente colleagues and I had the very good fortune to receive excellent training and consultation from Dick. His tools, observations and insights continue to serve me and hopefully, they will serve you too. 

Jonah Berger's book, Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Wayis rich in research, analysis and insights on how to increase our communication effectiveness in both our professional and personal lives. He distills his "magic words" into 6 types:
1) Activate Identity and Agency
2) Convey Confidence
3) Ask the Right Questions
4) Leverage Concreteness
5) Employ Emotion
6) Harness Similarity (and Difference)
Within this framework, he offers an array of practical, actionable advice and tools to increase the impact of not just what we say, but how we say it. Ultimately, we have the opportunity to forge stronger connections, meaningfully persuade and tell our stories in ways that resonate more deeply with others. "...Words have an amazing impact, and by understanding when, why, and how they work, we can use them to increase ours."

Articles 

Harvard Business Review: How to Become a Supercommunicator at Work. "...Great communication is a skill that nearly anyone can learn by taking the following steps: preparing before a conversation, asking deep questions during a conversation, and asking (and answering) follow-up questions throughout. In the context of work, mastering each step can help you...build lasting connections with people at all levels of your organization — connections that go a bit deeper than your typical professional relationship...Ultimately, they can help you grow in or beyond your role."

Harvard Business Review: The Art of Asking Smarter Questions. "Our research reveals that strategic questions can be grouped into five domains: investigative, speculative, productive, interpretive, and subjective. Each unlocks a different aspect of the decision-making process. Together they can help you tackle key issues that are all too easy to miss."

Harvard Business Review: Storytelling That Drives Bold Change. "...Your story can transform your organization by shaping attitudes and beliefs, starting with your own. The story you tell yourself sets the stage for the organizational change you’re envisioning. And when you share it skillfully with others, your story starts to become their reality." [I am also including a companion piece by the same authors looking at 10 emotions that can facilitate storytelling.]

Harvard Business Review: How to Shine When You're Put On the Spot. "...Contrary to popular assumptions, you don’t need to be extroverted or inherently charming to communicate effectively when put on the spot. You just need to learn specific skills, tactics, and behaviors. Here are a few pointers."

Blog Posts & Opinions

The New York Times: David Brooks: The Quiet Magic of Middle Managers. "The democratic fabric is held together by daily acts of consideration that middle managers are in a position to practice and foster. The best of them don’t resolve our disputes but lift us above them so that we can see disagreements from a higher and more generous vantage point. Democracy is more than just voting; it is a way of living, a way of living generously within disagreements, one that works only with ethical leaders showing the way."

Big Think: The 7-38-55 rule: Debunking the golden ratio of conversation. "The 7-38-55 rule claims that the vast majority of a conversation’s meaning is communicated through tone of voice and body language. However, the psychologist who coined this ratio had something different in mind. Words, nonverbal cues, the environment, and even the history of the speakers all play important roles in communication."

Stanford Business: Tips and Techniques for More Confident and Compelling Presentations. "The ability to present your ideas in a clear, confident, and authentic manner can make a huge difference in your business (and personal) success. Yet many people are anxious or under-practiced in presenting effectively. The best way to feel more confident and deliver engaging presentations is through smart and thorough preparation and practice. From first planning through actual delivery, these tips and techniques can help you be a more compelling speaker and ensure your audience gets your message."

Podcasts

Wharton Business Daily: How ‘Strategic Silence’ Helps Employees. "The highest-performing employees know when to speak and when to stay quiet, according to new research from Wharton’s Michael Parke that looks at how employees engage in 'strategic silence.'"

TEDWomen 2023: What's your leadership language? "In a globe-trotting career that has spanned corporations, governments, nonprofits and philanthropy, Rosita Najmi has often found herself translating among them. Instead of focusing on leadership style, she makes the case for becoming fluent in the languages of leadership, explaining how it can help you adapt to audiences across industries and collectively achieve your goals."

WorkLife with Adam Grant: Steve Martin on finding your authentic voice. "Steve Martin has made an award-winning career out of taking on new identities–from actor and comedian to musician and novelist. Over the years, he’s learned that the best way to find yourself is by imitating your role models...Steve and Adam [Gopnik] join Adam Grant for a riveting discussion about impersonation and authenticity, humor and writing, success and happiness, and valuing the friends you make along the way."

Arts, Music, Culture, Literature & Humor Corner

NBC News: Mona Lisa's mysterious background decrypted by art-loving geologist. "Over 500 years after Leonardo da Vinci painted the 'Mona Lisa,' an academic believes she has unraveled the mystery about the backdrop to one of the world’s most famous works of art."

The Guardian: ‘He’d turned into a weird old grandpa’: how Johnny Cash resurrected his career – and became an icon. "In the early 90s, the Man in Black was unsigned, uncool and barely out of addiction. Releasing lost songs from those years that rank among Cash’s best, his son and bandmates explain how he came back around."

The New Yorker: Are We Doomed? Here’s How to Think About It. "Climate change, artificial intelligence, nuclear annihilation, biological warfare—the field of existential risk is a way to reason through the dizzying, terrifying headlines."

The New Yorker: Norman Maclean Didn’t Publish Much. What He Did Contains Everything. "You could read his literary output in a single day, yet it includes almost all there is to know about what the English language can do."

McSweeney's: How to Ensure Your Annual Beach Vacation Destroys Your Relationship with Your Extended Family. "If these strategies fail to spark bitter acrimony among your extended family, try again next vacation. And add alcohol."

Reflections

"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."~ James Dent

“Once you have learned to ask questions – relevant and appropriate and substantial questions – you have learned how to learn and no one can keep you from learning whatever you want or need to know.”~ Neil Postman

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.” ~ Peter Drucker